Amphibians like it here

A small pond with a decorative bridge over it.

I have a little artificial pond in my backyard that is frequented by at least three, maybe four, toads. When I go outside at night, I often hear the splash they make when jumping back into the pond. Occasionally, they’ll just sit near the pond in spite of my sudden appearance.

About three weeks ago, I saw that a toad was sitting the pond while I was taking pictures of my growing bananas (more about that in a future post).

Here is a closer view of the toad:

There were two toads present, not including the stone shaped like a toad:

I am Ling, Chinese Human Female UK Car Expert

I accidentally resorted my email and found this gem from May 2006. It starts:

Hello, I am Chinese Contract Hire female human expert, Ling Valentine.

Oh, a female human expert. I could use some help from one of those!

I am unique in the UK!

There must be copies in several other countries.

I bring you best UK car takeaway service menu!

It is the Chinese car takeout service. The first car leaves you wanting a second.

I have 290 customer letters on website to prove I am not flying-by-night company. I sell 1.25m cars/month.

Testimonials on a web site are proof she can sell everyone in the UK a car within two years. Does your toddler have a car yet?

NEW FEATURE “There is no free lunch” – YES THERE IS! I bring you free lunch. Nowhere else give you this offer! – Ling

Did you forget that Ling wrote this?

Who is Jeremy Clarkson? I exterminate!

Someone better tell Jeremy Clarkson that a Chinese Dalek is coming to get him. Looks like his opinions have earned him international and interstellar ire.

I test drive cars myself to give you idea of quality and speed.

You no test drive!

This is my Chinese Nuclear Rocket Truck 6×6 7.0 V8, I park it next to A1(M) at Darlington

I think we found Bond’s next mission objective.

Underwater Christmas Trees of Metal

A tree from FMC Technologies

There are large metal things installed in oil fields at the bottom of the ocean called Christmas trees, or just trees for short. The name came about, I’m told, because someone thought these rectangular metal objects looked more like a Christmas tree than some large industrial equipment.

My best guess is that, after the equipment was designed and then built under some other name, various people came to look at the first unit in the building where manufacturing had just finished. One guy was wearing glasses with really thick lenses from an old and outdated prescription. So old, in fact, that the lenses were scratched all over. He wasn’t legally allowed to drive because of his vision. This guy looked at the unit with a corner of the building behind the it. At this corner were some towering containers, above which was a light. The light cast a shadow down the corner, but illuminated the walls to either side, making a triangular dark region behind the unit. With help from the lights on the unit and the scratched lenses, the unit seemed to have twinkling lights.

So the guy exclaims that it looks like a Christmas tree, and everyone else tries to hide their laughter. They go along with the name because it is just too ridiculous. Later, they call it a Christmas tree to make fun of the guy, and it becomes an inside joke. But, it is a catchier name than whatever they were using before, so they find themselves calling it a Christmas tree even when they don’t mean to joke. The name sticks.

That isn’t really how it happened, but I think it is a much funnier version of reality.

Battleground of the Ants

The ants are encroaching on my new territory. Their numbers are growing in the backyard. Even more bothersome is how their floor patrols have brought in greater numbers of ants. I have struck back, leaving some of the floor looking like an ant graveyard, minus the burial. This is a fine excuse to show a few pictures of this battleground.

Given the title, this must be a low budget B-movie. As such, there is no HDTV, but there is a VCR and an Atari 7800.

This view includes the kitchen. It also shows the Ballblazer game cartridge, although the text isn't readable.

The library, with a few of its toys, and plenty of VHS tapes, and even some DVD-R disks. And books, too.

The dining areas.